When you reach your late twenties like me, you’ve seen dozens of your friends get married. You’ve been to weddings for people you barely know; you’ve been a groomsman at some of your closest friends’ weddings. And when it’s finally your turn to be the groom, it’s something to be seriously excited about.
After seeing so many friends go through wedding planning, I kind of had an idea of what to expect. I knew there would be disagreements, cancellations, late nights and more. But that was the fun of it, right? While it’s still a few months away from the day when I say “I do”, I’d like to reflect on things so far including what’s working, and what’s not. Here is a wedding perspective from a groom’s point of view.
Being involved
When it comes to planning the wedding, I think it’s important to find a balance. What I mean by this is I believe couples can burnout on wedding planning if it’s being talked about 100% of the time. When you get deep into wedding planning, it can seem that every conversation you and your significant other have is about the wedding. Even small things can easily get back to wedding talk.
I think an important point to make is just because a guy doesn’t want to talk about the wedding every second of every day doesn’t mean he’s any less excited for it. For my fiancé and I, we set a “rule” early on that we would only do our wedding planning every other weekend. Obviously in some cases this “rule” needs to be broken, but I think it’s worked for us in that we’re not spending every single weekend planning out the wedding.
I knew that I wanted to be a big part of planning the wedding; I had friends that both wanted to be involved and friends who wanted their soon-to-be brides to plan the whole thing. I didn’t feel like I needed to be consulted on every minute detail, but I did want to be very involved.
Making decisions
Every single thing detail about planning a wedding comes down to a decision. Should it be “rustic country chic” or “vintage nautical winery”? Are you going to invite every one of your college frat bros, or just the select few that matter? All of these are decisions that must be made, and they must be made together.
Disagreeing is okay to a point; in fact I’ve found that it’s good to disagree about some things. It’s a way to make sure that both of your input is truthful and taken into account. If you’re feeling a little bit like your input isn’t being taken into account (and fortunately, I haven’t really experienced this), my advice is to make sure your voice is heard. As much as it’s about your fiancé’s dream wedding, it’s about yours too.
All images courtesy of http://www.lockwoodstudios.com/
About Bio:
Ted Levin is a freelance writer and soon to be husband, currently in the final stages of wedding planning. He’s currently putting together gifts for his groomsmen from Groovy Groomsmen Gifts, in preparation for a bachelor party spent fishing in central Oregon.
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